Now listen I know that a lot of you might think that the art of writing love letters is dead but I’m here to ensure you that it’s not dead. Actually, it’s very romantic, it’s very freeing, it’s very expressive, and I feel like everyone should write at least one love letter in their lifetime and receive one love letter in their lifetime. It doesn’t even have to be from a romantic partner.
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Why is writing a love letter hard?
1. Writing is hard
The thing is… writing a love letter can be really daunting and really hard especially if you don’t typically write and especially if you don’t typically write letters.
Although it’s hard… do not despair because in this blog post I will share with you my tips and tricks on how I personally write love letters. But don’t fret because your love letter can still be unique to you and unique to your own personal writing style.
2. Letters are emotive
The other reason why it’s challenging to write a love letter is because it pushes you to think deeply and to reflect on the contents of your heart basically allowing you to not only express your thoughts but express your emotions, your desires, and everything in between to the person that you’re writing the letter for.
Now it doesn’t matter who that person is. It doesn’t matter how long you know that person. Writing a love letter is a very vulnerable act and it can be very intimidating at first.
Why should you write a love letter?
I believe that writing a love letter is a very personal and thoughtful touch versus our common day texting and emailing. That’s why love letters still have that very enchanting element to them.
The other thing is that when you write a love letter you actually take your time. Here’s what I mean by taking your time. It’s not only with the mechanics of writing so your ‘handwriting and thinking’ about what you’re going to write but also the mechanics of how you actually ‘send out your letter,’ the mechanics of the physicality of actually putting the letter together, making it presentable, making it beautiful, making it loving, and personal to the person that you’re sending it to.
Now that we discussed why is it so hard to write a love letter and why you should write a love letter, let’s get into my 6 tips on how to write a thoughtful love letter.
1. Be thoughtful
My first tip is to be thoughtful. It might seem very unromantic to you that you’re going to take the time to actually think about this love letter. It’s not just this spontaneous activity in which you take a loose leaf paper and you write a letter and send it out. That’s because you’re not writing a letter, you’re writing a love letter so you need to actually plan what you’re writing, you need to actually draft the elements to your love letter.
Just think of it like this: the more unromantic it seems to you, the more romantic it will seem to them or the more loving it will seem to them because you actually plan and you actually made sure that you wrote a lovely love letter.
Honestly, nowadays, anyone can buy a dollar store card and write two lines and an ‘I love you,’ sign it, and just hand it out. It feels very cheap sometimes because it is very shallow. Although it’s good to remind people that you love them and that you’re thinking about them. But sometimes what you really need is to actually express your emotions not only for the other person but for yourself and that’s why these letters need to be taught out.
Like I said you’re not just expressing your deepest emotions, feelings, and thoughts but you’re also expressing your gratitude by adding a couple more paragraphs, by having a direction, and a specific intent to your love letter. That’s how you show that you are thoughtful to this person.
This is how you’re going to do it:
- You’re going to draft it out first either on loose leaf paper or on a computer.
- Then you’re going to make sure you check up your grammar mistakes because no one wants to receive a letter that has a bunch of grammar mistakes.
You obviously want to get rid of the main ones and if you need help with this, Grammarly is a perfect tool for that.
Grammarly will actually let you know if the word that you’re using doesn’t make sense in your sentence. So if you struggle with writing or editing or making sure that your draft has no errors then I highly recommend Grammarly.
Once you draft and edit your love letter, that’s when you transcribe it down onto parchment paper.
This post was proofread by Grammarly2. Make it personal
My second tip is to make it personal.
So what do I mean? Ditch the formality, ditch the “dear {+} name.”
The ‘dear mom, dear dad, dear boyfriend,’ just ditch that and go with how would you talk to that person in real life. Do you call them ‘baby,’ ‘my love,’ ‘my darling,’ ‘my sugar plum’?
I don’t know what you call them, I don’t discriminate, just use a term of endearment personally to you and that person.
Use whatever you feel is right. For example: ‘my dearest love,’ ‘my bestest friend,’ ‘to my baby,’ ‘to my love,’ ‘to my plum,’ etc.
The more personal = the more vulnerable and the better your letter will be. You really want to tug on their heartstrings you definitely don’t want to be writing a formal letter.
Spice it up!
3. Make it memorable
My third tip is to make it memorable so this goes in two directions:
First of all write a letter that they will never forget. You need to write a letter that’s memorable and at the same time make it memorable as in you need to show this person that the memories of them is really sedented into your own life and into your own memory.
You want them to feel like they are remembered, loved, cherished, and that any of their actions or any of the things that they say do not just slip by you. You need to show that you’re actually attentive to them and that you actually love them!
Just think about it for a second… everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to feel remembered and that’s exactly the purpose of the love letter.
And so, a way that you can do this is by sharing a memorable memory that you have of them. Keep in mind that this letter they might come back to time and time again. They’re going to cherish it, keep it in their pockets, in their shoe
Box, whatever it is. This is a letter not to be discarded.
4. Tell a story
My fourth tip is to tell a story.
Have you ever heard of that expression that says that if you want to change someone’s mind, you’re going to have to tell them facts; but if you want to change someone’s heart, you’re going to have to tell them a story.
This is what happens here. When you tell people stories, they become enamored. Most of the times, they remember a story more than they remember facts. It’s nice to share cemented memories about the person but you can also share multiple stories:
- about the time you first met
- the day you first met
- when you knew you fell in love with them how your life has been before them
- how your life has been since then you can even share a story that they’ve already heard of
- or you can share a story entirely new from your perspective
that they will make them feel loved, appreciated, and remembered. They probably might even discover something new and therefore deepening your bond together.
5. Get creative
My fifth tip is to get creative.
You should get creative.
For example, you can insert an inside joke. By all means it doesn’t have to be all serious no joke no play. You can definitely insert an inside joke. If you don’t want to take that route, you can also insert a poem a quote, a photo, anything that you feel like is going to add an extra flair to the letter.
Now when I talk about adding poem and poetry… I mean adding a love poem.
My favorite love poets are by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Shakespeare, especially Shakespeare’s sonnets. However, before you even include a poem make sure you know what the poem is talking about because you could be inserting a love poem. The poem could be talking about breakup or it could be talking about something sexual. So just make sure you do some research before you insert a poem.
The other way you can get creative is by decorating the letter itself.
You can use cardboard paper of different red-pink colours, kiss your envelope, add stickers, wax seal it, etc.
Decorating your love letter, doesn’t have to cost you a fortune. Doing so will make your letter more impactful and more beautiful.
That’s why the packaging also matters on a love letter.
Like I said you can also add items: you can add a photograph or your favorite photo of that person or your favorite photo of you and them together.
You can even add your perfume so when they open the letter it’s like you’re giving them a hug. If you like to draw or if you’re good at drawing or if you want to pay someone for a commission for them to draw something you can also do that.
Letters are amazing at containing so many things inside them. You honestly could get creative in any way you want. You can even create a bookmark of a photo of you and them. The options are limitless. All you have to do is get creative look at some ideas online and get going.
6. Reaffirm your love
My last tip is to reaffirm your love.
Now obviously you’re writing a love letter but you’d be surprised at how you might forget to even say ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m looking forward to this and this with you or I’m looking forward to the rest of my life for you’ or ‘the rest of my days with you’ or ‘I’m looking forward for whatever’ it is that you’re looking for with that person.
Therefore, you need to make sure when you end it, end it sweetly. Say ‘I love you endlessly’ or ‘I love you forever.’ You can kind of veer off onto the cliché for the end of your love letter. You’ve already did all the creative work, the
personal memorable work, now you can go more into cliché category.
Feel free to reaffirm your love. You need to show this person that you have a commitment to them and that you are grateful for them.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable don’t be afraid to be you don’t be afraid to go into your emotions and desires and just be honest. I feel like in our society we’re always told to keep our emotions to ourselves, to keep it low-key.
Believe me when I say that people appreciate and greatly enjoy when you take the time and that’s why love letters are like an equivalent to a gift. Especially since nowadays, in our society, no one takes the time anymore to sit down and actually compose a letter. And yet, there’s so much beauty and there’s so much love to be expressed in a love letter.
GENTLE REMINDER
You can definitely write a love letter to yourself because why not show the amount of love and compassion to yourself as you would someone else as you would someone you’re dating with or someone you’re close to.
At the end of the day the person that you are with the most is yourself so I do think that it’s a good practice first of all to write a love letter to yourself or to write a love letter to your future self so before you discredit that exercise, I would highly highly recommend it. It’s very therapeutic and it’s a very loving exercise. ❤️
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